Saturday, November 23, 2013
Monday, November 4, 2013
Sunday, October 27, 2013
Saturday, October 19, 2013
Friday, September 27, 2013
Monday, September 23, 2013
Dear Al Shabab
I am not a moslem. Neither are you. You are trying to trigger a world wide religious war to justify your sick, power hungry, criminal and very pathetic lives. Anyone can take over a mall so don't tell us how great a military unit you are. You're nothing but a bunch of common criminals killing innocent men, women and children all in the name of- a religion.
... And the world rebukes you.
Now, come at me with that banana!
... And the world rebukes you.
Now, come at me with that banana!
Saturday, September 21, 2013
I made this last night. Something I thought up while drinking coffee this morning and looking at it.
Makes me think I am not as sick as I think I am, while
thinking sick things like this- I think.
That is all for today.
Friday, September 20, 2013
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
Basically-
If you agree and believe that the USA should attack Syria? Then you get your fat ass out of Walmart and your other pathetic endeavors and you saddle up and get your ass over there and die for nothing...and you can pay for your own transportation too, because I have had it with you, warmonger. You get to use your precious guns, kill away. I won't have your six, you are on your own.
Monday, September 2, 2013
A bad time to be a bird in my backyard
Labor day brought a large raptor to our backyard. Looks to be a female Coopers hawk, at least 18 inches if not bigger. No birds were seen the rest of the day. It hung around in this spot for about 20 minutes.
At one time, Cooper's Hawks were heavily hunted in persecution for preying on poultry and were called "chicken hawks". It is now known that predation by these hawks on domestic animals borders on negligible, and they are rarely hunted these days.
Friday, August 23, 2013
Saturday, June 29, 2013
Friday, June 14, 2013
Mack Cane
Did you not get enough WAR during your time in Viet Nam??? You take up your elderly ass and move it to Syria and you fight your god damned bloody foreign civil war, John Kerry? You want to snap the hell out of it already hero??? Or was your protest of the Viet Nam war just bullshit?
Soon your taxpayer money is going to produce massive piles of dead Syrians. Hope your happy America. Remember The Roman Empire...crumbling infrastructure and never ending war. Will you listen? You never do.
Soon your taxpayer money is going to produce massive piles of dead Syrians. Hope your happy America. Remember The Roman Empire...crumbling infrastructure and never ending war. Will you listen? You never do.
Saturday, June 8, 2013
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Friday, May 24, 2013
I caughted a fish
It's about an 18 inch Walleye, I caught it inside the culvert. My phone camera sucks plus it's flipping around trying to get back in the water. He got let go...
From a secret location
This is where they have the Ion Beam Sputter (inside that door)
It's right inside there...see?
Monday, May 6, 2013
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Saturday, April 13, 2013
North Korea Launches Air Force
Friday, April 12, 2013
Free Day Off Nap Turns Ugly
Free day off, hey? take a nap? why not? I deserve it...sorta.
yeah...welcome to my little afternoon napmare
The ole brain takes me and puts me back at my old job. Like I still had my new job, but they like forced me back to my old one because things were going to be different and they needed me and etc. And I slid right back into it just fine, right back at my same pace and consistency and all. They had me in a section by myself it was all quiet. Got alot of welcome back we're so damned glad you are back comments. The new manager came over to my cube and introduced himself and I was between calls so I put myself in aux code "whatever" to talk to him. That went real well, took the next call. Then I get an e-mail from this new manager and the whole place is copied on it.
Of course it's addressed to me, but it's like to everyone (the folks), you've seen the tactic before, meant for one but aint got the managerial sack to admit it, goes something along the lines of:
To: Dave (myself@hbca.com)
Cc: Hoopin Big Heldesk Distribution; Joe (JoeBlow@hbca.com)
Subj: Communication
Folks, I have noticed a disturbing trend and I feel I need to nip this in the bud. We are doing way too much communicating with each other. I find this to be a nuissance and downright unprofessional. It is also taking away from the customer and hurting our numbers, but most of all it, is hitting our bottom line. Please do not interrupt people at their desks, if you have something to tell them, please e-mail them. I want to see everyone in their cubes on the phone helping the customer, not conversing with each other. If you have any questions please see your supervisor.
Joe Blow
Grand Poobah
Hoopin Big Corporation Of America
What the hell you came to my cube?
now I wanted to go into his office like a charging rabid rhinocerous and do my best impression of the Tazmanian Devil on his fake oak veneer desk and fake leather chair, I also wanted to light the building on fire, but then I remembered, I have my new job still? why wreck it?
So I left and didn't tell anyone. I went and got a beer next door at the bowling alley. Joe Blow the manager and all the supervisors were there having a meeting. They acted shocked to see me but were very cordial wanting to buy me a beer and all. I asked my supervisor what was up with Joe Blows e-mail and the answer was "what e-mail? I haven't seen it" I told them to check their e-mail when they got back because I didn't think it was very good for them to all be at the bowling alley drinking while everyone else was still at work. The manager told me to get my ass back to work. So I finished my beer and left. I did go back to work, at my new job, on Monday.
Again, this was not real. I am sure glad to be awake!
yeah...welcome to my little afternoon napmare
The ole brain takes me and puts me back at my old job. Like I still had my new job, but they like forced me back to my old one because things were going to be different and they needed me and etc. And I slid right back into it just fine, right back at my same pace and consistency and all. They had me in a section by myself it was all quiet. Got alot of welcome back we're so damned glad you are back comments. The new manager came over to my cube and introduced himself and I was between calls so I put myself in aux code "whatever" to talk to him. That went real well, took the next call. Then I get an e-mail from this new manager and the whole place is copied on it.
Of course it's addressed to me, but it's like to everyone (the folks), you've seen the tactic before, meant for one but aint got the managerial sack to admit it, goes something along the lines of:
To: Dave (myself@hbca.com)
Cc: Hoopin Big Heldesk Distribution; Joe (JoeBlow@hbca.com)
Subj: Communication
Folks, I have noticed a disturbing trend and I feel I need to nip this in the bud. We are doing way too much communicating with each other. I find this to be a nuissance and downright unprofessional. It is also taking away from the customer and hurting our numbers, but most of all it, is hitting our bottom line. Please do not interrupt people at their desks, if you have something to tell them, please e-mail them. I want to see everyone in their cubes on the phone helping the customer, not conversing with each other. If you have any questions please see your supervisor.
Joe Blow
Grand Poobah
Hoopin Big Corporation Of America
What the hell you came to my cube?
now I wanted to go into his office like a charging rabid rhinocerous and do my best impression of the Tazmanian Devil on his fake oak veneer desk and fake leather chair, I also wanted to light the building on fire, but then I remembered, I have my new job still? why wreck it?
So I left and didn't tell anyone. I went and got a beer next door at the bowling alley. Joe Blow the manager and all the supervisors were there having a meeting. They acted shocked to see me but were very cordial wanting to buy me a beer and all. I asked my supervisor what was up with Joe Blows e-mail and the answer was "what e-mail? I haven't seen it" I told them to check their e-mail when they got back because I didn't think it was very good for them to all be at the bowling alley drinking while everyone else was still at work. The manager told me to get my ass back to work. So I finished my beer and left. I did go back to work, at my new job, on Monday.
Again, this was not real. I am sure glad to be awake!
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Monday, April 1, 2013
Saturday, March 23, 2013
Friday, March 22, 2013
Sunday, March 17, 2013
Pete countinues campaign of armageddon in North Korea
Saturday, March 16, 2013
Friday, March 15, 2013
Pete effective in North Korean operations
Officials: Pete effective in North Korean operations
UnAssociated Press
March 15th, 2013
Photograph just released showing the effectiveness of Pete. Officials are not commenting but said they are pleased with the results so far. Korea's pussboy Kim Jong Un was reportedly seen curled up in a hole crying for his daddy. The UN stated they are going to impose sanctions on The Butt for releasing complete terror on the poor North Korean people. Pete said he didn't care what they do but that he's gonna be taking a huge nap soon.
NK's Glorious News Agency could not be reached for comment because Pete had completely destroyed it, twice.
UnAssociated Press
March 15th, 2013
NK's Glorious News Agency could not be reached for comment because Pete had completely destroyed it, twice.
Thursday, March 14, 2013
I liked the decor, but the place smelled like fish
Why would someone who hates seafood go to a seafood restaraunt and then write a bad review of the restaraunt, I mean, like, are they going to say anything good? The waiter smelled like fish?
My drink tasted like fish? Now I smell like fish? Wait, I don't like fish, why did I go there? Am I stupid?
My drink tasted like fish? Now I smell like fish? Wait, I don't like fish, why did I go there? Am I stupid?
Pete reportedly ready for deployment to North Korea
Pete reportedly ready for deployment to North Korea
Un-Associated Press
March 14th, 2013
Officials with the US Department Of Stuff are now confirming that their super secret freedom weapon
known as "Pete" is now ready for offensive deployment against glorious super-hero North Korean forces.
Negotiations ended after North Korea's strong-boy dictator, Kim Jung Oon, called Cutris a puss to his face and also claimed he had already been in 17½ wars and wasn't afraid of any Americans and had the medals to prove it.
The Butt officially commented that though he regrets he has to resort to such extreme measures as releasing
Pete, he is ready to do it.
"The Pete has been a controversial weapon and is hard to contain once released." according to the Butt, "He's kind of like a spinning top once deployed, all you can do is get the hell out of the way and let him do his job. The real danger is that he has this kung-fu grip thing, which in preliminary testing choked 3 technicians and a small duck, all who later recovered, barely."
Dennis "Denise" Rodman-Un was later spotted in a Pyongyang Starbucks wearing Oon's war medals on his wedding dress.
Un-Associated PressMarch 14th, 2013
Officials with the US Department Of Stuff are now confirming that their super secret freedom weapon
known as "Pete" is now ready for offensive deployment against glorious super-hero North Korean forces.
Negotiations ended after North Korea's strong-boy dictator, Kim Jung Oon, called Cutris a puss to his face and also claimed he had already been in 17½ wars and wasn't afraid of any Americans and had the medals to prove it.
The Butt officially commented that though he regrets he has to resort to such extreme measures as releasing
Pete, he is ready to do it.
"The Pete has been a controversial weapon and is hard to contain once released." according to the Butt, "He's kind of like a spinning top once deployed, all you can do is get the hell out of the way and let him do his job. The real danger is that he has this kung-fu grip thing, which in preliminary testing choked 3 technicians and a small duck, all who later recovered, barely."
Dennis "Denise" Rodman-Un was later spotted in a Pyongyang Starbucks wearing Oon's war medals on his wedding dress.
Super Weapon Pete ready to kick commie asses
Denise Rodman-Un
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
All Hail Pope Frank
In 2010, Argentina became the first country in Latin America to legalize gay marriage.
During the debate that preceded the change, Bergoglio called the bill “a plan to destroy God’s plan.”
We won't mention what kind a God-plan preists molesting little boys is.
Will we Frank?
During the debate that preceded the change, Bergoglio called the bill “a plan to destroy God’s plan.”
We won't mention what kind a God-plan preists molesting little boys is.
Will we Frank?
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Monday, March 11, 2013
Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.... YEAH
Closing time.
My short-lived security guard career has now ended. I gave 2 weeks notice and I worked every shift that remained, I even worked extra 2 nights. I was debriefed, signed my name and handed in my badge.
My short-lived security guard career has now ended. I gave 2 weeks notice and I worked every shift that remained, I even worked extra 2 nights. I was debriefed, signed my name and handed in my badge.
Sunday, March 10, 2013
Daylight Stupid Time
So this Daylight Savings Time thing. I still can't get anyone to explain to me just exactly what it
"saves"? Does it save daylight? no there is still the same amount of daylight. Does it save time somehow? Um, you are trading an hour back and forth. Why not call it Daylight Borrowing Time?
Or Daylight Sharing Time? What about the night part? There's never any daylight when it happens.
And it always messes up what time the sun comes up and goes down.
Historically, according to history anyways, this was invented by the french because Benjamin Franklin wanted to save some candle wax. Um, still the same amount of sunlight, get up an hour later
or go to bed at a decent hour ever Benny? No,, he was always up all night anyways. (Burning more than candles).
I always thought Daylight Savings Time was invented in 1976 by President Jimmy Carter to go along with his "lets turn the heat down to 65 and drive only 55 mph plan"? Or maybe it was to confuse the arabs and make oil cheaper...
When someone can make me understand the scientific point of this human folly, then I will be for it, otherwise...
get rid of it, it is additional stupid 2 times per year and we all have enough stupid to deal with other than trying to change all the clocks around and still manage to wake up on time...
"saves"? Does it save daylight? no there is still the same amount of daylight. Does it save time somehow? Um, you are trading an hour back and forth. Why not call it Daylight Borrowing Time?
Or Daylight Sharing Time? What about the night part? There's never any daylight when it happens.
And it always messes up what time the sun comes up and goes down.
Historically, according to history anyways, this was invented by the french because Benjamin Franklin wanted to save some candle wax. Um, still the same amount of sunlight, get up an hour later
or go to bed at a decent hour ever Benny? No,, he was always up all night anyways. (Burning more than candles).
I always thought Daylight Savings Time was invented in 1976 by President Jimmy Carter to go along with his "lets turn the heat down to 65 and drive only 55 mph plan"? Or maybe it was to confuse the arabs and make oil cheaper...
When someone can make me understand the scientific point of this human folly, then I will be for it, otherwise...
get rid of it, it is additional stupid 2 times per year and we all have enough stupid to deal with other than trying to change all the clocks around and still manage to wake up on time...
Saturday, March 9, 2013
Hey, I'm a Poet, how do I get a job?
Hey, I'm a Poet, how do I get a job?
So, what are your qualifications?
“Well, I like to play with words.”
I see, what do you mean by that?
“I put them together to make lines.”
Lines? You mean on paper?
“Yes, thoughts, images, etc.”
Wow, sounds like fun!
“Sometimes I even make them rhyme! ”
Great. I have an opening as a stockboy?
“Super, when do I start? ”
“Well, I like to play with words.”
I see, what do you mean by that?
“I put them together to make lines.”
Lines? You mean on paper?
“Yes, thoughts, images, etc.”
Wow, sounds like fun!
“Sometimes I even make them rhyme! ”
Great. I have an opening as a stockboy?
“Super, when do I start? ”
C H Sund
Friday, March 8, 2013
North Korea Says 'prepare for war'
North Korea Says 'prepare for war'
UnAssociated Press
March 8, 2013
By the pool at the Pyongyang Hilton
Earlier today, North Korean Punkass Kim Jong-un visited his troops on the border with the South and called on them to be ready.
Pictured with binoculars, Kim "stressed the need for the soldiers to keep themselves fully ready to go into action to annihilate the enemy any time an order is issued and instructed them to deal deadly blows at the enemies and blow up their positions,"
The young Un also added- "now if you need anything at all, I will be over by the pool surrounded by Phillipino women and sipping some Pina Coladas."
"Happy Glorious War!"
UnAssociated Press
March 8, 2013
By the pool at the Pyongyang Hilton
Earlier today, North Korean Punkass Kim Jong-un visited his troops on the border with the South and called on them to be ready.
Pictured with binoculars, Kim "stressed the need for the soldiers to keep themselves fully ready to go into action to annihilate the enemy any time an order is issued and instructed them to deal deadly blows at the enemies and blow up their positions,"
The young Un also added- "now if you need anything at all, I will be over by the pool surrounded by Phillipino women and sipping some Pina Coladas."
"Happy Glorious War!"
North Korea Threatens The Butt
North Korea Threatens The Butt
UnAssociated Press
March 8th, 2013
Pyongyang, North Korea
In a precedented move, North Korea has reportedly cut all ties
with The Butt. An unofficial official stated that after The Butt
secretly replaced Kim Jong Un's grenade launcher with a 14 inch
dildo, they decided they were forced to sever all ties.
The Butt couldn't be reached for comment but he put out a statement
through The U.S. Department Of Stuff stating that "North Korea is a glorious punk-ass
goat Korea"
He also said "Neener, Neener, Neener"
UnAssociated Press
March 8th, 2013
Pyongyang, North Korea
In a precedented move, North Korea has reportedly cut all ties
with The Butt. An unofficial official stated that after The Butt
secretly replaced Kim Jong Un's grenade launcher with a 14 inch
dildo, they decided they were forced to sever all ties.
The Butt couldn't be reached for comment but he put out a statement
through The U.S. Department Of Stuff stating that "North Korea is a glorious punk-ass
goat Korea"
He also said "Neener, Neener, Neener"
Thursday, March 7, 2013
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
The captain has turned on the "no crapping while computing" sign
Monday, March 4, 2013
Sunday, March 3, 2013
non-sensical complaints and such
A review of the Original Pancake House in Edina, MN:
Apparently someone has never had real maple syrup before because they'd know it is runny as water,
Apparently someone has never had real maple syrup before because they'd know it is runny as water,
Saturday, March 2, 2013
does not happen very often
All this past week, I have gotten my way on everything, twas a golden week.
I must admit, I liked it a lot, no, I loved it!
Sooner than later I know things will return to normal, but man I deserved this.
I must admit, I liked it a lot, no, I loved it!
Sooner than later I know things will return to normal, but man I deserved this.
Friday, March 1, 2013
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Elvis, er Benedict, has left the building
I just called the Vatican and asked to speak to the Pope, but they said that he quit and wasn't there anymore.
Potatoes and their implications in current events
Sometimes I look at potatoes and then I look at the potatoe peeler and then I look back at the potatoes and I say, you win dudes. Then I turn to the potatoe peeler and think..."it is with regret that I must inform you that I have no use for you at this time, but I will keep you on file (in the drawer) for future consideration, best of luck in your endeavors and I wish you continued success in your, etc"
Sincerely
The man who cooks potatoes
I really am not sure if the "e" is being used properly nor do I care at this crossroads of cooking history
Sincerely
The man who cooks potatoes
I really am not sure if the "e" is being used properly nor do I care at this crossroads of cooking history
Whoever invented
the "dying rooster" alarm clock sound on my daughter's android should be made to listen to it repeatedly non-stop for 38 hours straight...
or she should get her butt up and shut it off.
or she should get her butt up and shut it off.
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
just woke up from a dream
It was everything I had dreamed of and more. And after I awoke, it turned out to be real!
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
now hear this...
woop woop woop
and so begins the ending of the beggining of the end of the new beggining
confused?
an interesting fact...
I haven't had a weekend off since mid-august, the last 8 weekends have been 12
hour shifts both saturdays and sundays.
I have now announced that this is going to stop immediately.
They are working me into living like I am dead
and that's no way to make a living
So my new beggining might end up starting today. It's only a matter of hours now...
and so begins the ending of the beggining of the end of the new beggining
confused?
an interesting fact...
I haven't had a weekend off since mid-august, the last 8 weekends have been 12
hour shifts both saturdays and sundays.
I have now announced that this is going to stop immediately.
They are working me into living like I am dead
and that's no way to make a living
So my new beggining might end up starting today. It's only a matter of hours now...
Monday, February 25, 2013
Found my dream house
broken mailbox...no lawn mower...satellite dish...priorities...priorities...priorities...
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